what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails

(via invisiblechickens)

94,161 notes


The first sip of tea is always the hardest.

that isn’t supposed to be inspirational, I’m just stating it’s fucking nerve-racking waiting for it to touch your lips and potentially having it melt your face off 

(via on-a-sl0wnight)

82,720 notes
If you fall asleep next to Niall, in the middle of the night, he’ll curl up into a ball around you! Seriously, it makes you his toy! Zayn Malik (via thenialltomyzayn)

(Source: punk-ziall, via sublimemichael)

8,906 notes


honor students cheat more than anybody 

(Source: reverseracist, via hardcoretaco)

223,174 notes